What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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The worst part of waking up, Is no Folgers in your cup.

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Okay, this is a real joke: A guy slips on a banana and falls down in the most funny way ever, so a girl nearby starts laughing when she suddenly realizes the guy is bleeding profoundly, so she runs over to help, but it turns out the blood was just ketchup so... Just then they both got run over and killed by a car.

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An Irish man, Scots man and a Welsh man walk into a bar. The barman says, "what is this some kind of joke?!" Peter, who lives in Cardiff, returned home, depressed that he is viewed as some sort of clown. It reminded him of when he was a school boy; a giant spot appeared on his nose. The kids just laughed at him. "Don't worry Peter" he said to himself, "It will all be over now... He later hung himself. His family have been informed.

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a black, mexican, jewish, and white man fall off a cliff, who landed first ? all at the same time, they all died and there familys sued the clifff and commited sucicede

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What did the dead guy say to the other guy? "You murdered me." How did he hear the dead guy? He was dead too.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Poems don't have to rhyme... Refrigerator

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Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are baked until ready and then enjoyed be the person who made them.

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Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

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Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? " I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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Your momma so fat when she went to the beach she was to self concious and left her shirt on.

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haha

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what's 6 inches long and women love? my penis

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what is the ??? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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Yo mama so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book. A.V.T was here Fred.

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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How do you call a hispanic man crossing the border? First you must find out his phone number, then using a different phone make a phone call to him.

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Mum, "Why aren't you listening to me, are you deaf or something?" Son, (Silence)...

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vote this down and i will DOX you

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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Roses are purple violets are green I am color blind shut up

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Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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