Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because the mas of the ice-cream gathered up enough potential energy to increase the velocity of said ice cream making a mess on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the fat man say when he saw the giant twinky on the billboard? I wish that twinky was real, because I am too poor to pay my bills, am getting audited, and cannot feed my four children on minimum wage.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How many orangoutangs does it take to screw in a light bulb? 16; mongoloid

thumb_up thumb_down -26

whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

thumb_up thumb_down -26

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did Sally dance and record it on Vine? She did it for the Vine

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is the difference between a pillow and a rock The rock could hert you.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why couldn't the boy with no arms and no Legs swim? Because he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Woody Allen once said, "I have had many romantic relationships in my life that were both complex and humorous."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the chicken cross the road? Umm... Why would it not?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the cop shoot his 4 year old son? Because the little bitch ate his leftovers

thumb_up thumb_down -28

how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves the duck the beer. Later, the bartender wonders to himself when his life got so out of control.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know, you answer the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock knock. Who's there. Suidi Arabia. Suida Arabia who? Huh? I was too busy loading my weaponry

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops