Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

a termite walks into a bar and asks, "wheres the bar tender?"

Why was the little boy sad Because he has depression from his father beating him over and over every time he comes home from school...

What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

Whats the same about a jew and firewood? They both burn.

Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

Why did Hitler hate Jews? Because he use to get bulied by them when he was in high school.

what did the man living in the box buy with his new found money? A bigger box.

Me - "Wanna hear something that will make me laugh?" *giggles* friend - "Sure." teehee if anyone gets it.

Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

A man copied someone else's joke on anti-joke, people looked at it and said "That's funny, but they copied it", then they moved on to the next one.

Q:Whats worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A: 8 dead babies in a barrel. Q: Whats worse than that? A: A dead baby in 8 barrels.

A guy comes home from work every day to his wife, who always seems miserable. He decides that her unhappiness is making him unhappy aswell, so he sits her down to talk things over. It turns out she is depressed because she can't get a job and the back wheels of her wheelchair are rusting.

Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

I named my cat Pounce because she jumps. In retrospect I suppose most cats do jump, in fact, they are even known for it.

How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

Two blondes walk into a bar, but they are then puzzled as the door would not budge open for them.

What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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