A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

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I am dyslexic

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There are two cows standing in a wide, green field eating hay. The first cow says: "Moo". The second cows says: "Thats funny, I was about to say that."

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

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How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Cheese and toast

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Why does Rupert The Bear wear checkered trousers? Because he's a twat.

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How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into another apple and finding the other half

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why did the black man apply for a job at kfc? His family was in debt after the loss of his father.

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Irish sobriety

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what did the slave say to the slave owner i like your car

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how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't cross it. He was pushed.

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One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

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What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

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A man walked into a bar. I shot him

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roses are red violets are blue pornhubs down your mums facebook will do.

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Why didn't the sperm cell cross the road? It died from the intense heat.

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Ain't idn't a word.

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How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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