What do you call an Ex-Penn State coach who is anal to young boys? - Strict

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Ask me if I'm a rock. Are you a rock? No.

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Ding dong Who's there Electricity

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How do you make a black guy cry? You kill his family.

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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An Englishman, A Scotsman, a Welshman, an Australian, An American, A German, A Swede, A Kiwi, An Austrian, A Belgian, A Frenchman, A Chinese Guy, An Indian, A Turk, A Czech, A Canadaian, A Russian, A serbian, A Portuguese, A brazilian, An Argentine and a South African go in to a bar. The Security stops them and says "I'm sorry i can't let you in without a thai"

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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What did the rabbi say at the party? Mazel Tov.

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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Why did Bob get off the swing? Because he was done.

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Bob: This joke is so hilarious but you must start off by saying knock knock. Tom: okay... Knock knock Bob: who's there? Tom: ...... Bob: well? Tom: I don't know what to say??? Bob: so the joke left ya speechless!

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If anyone has a KIK, put it in the comments.

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Why do we have brown eggs? Because black people have sex with chickens

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I have a friend named Jay . But for short , he likes to be called J .

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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there's a few black guys in a car, who's driving? their dad because they're kids

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A captain crashes his boat into a rock. He has the option to save to save his wife or his best friend. He saves neither and drowns.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Q- Why did spongbob go to Detroit? A- He didn't, spongbob is not real. And even if he was, Detroit is not a very popular tourist attraction.

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What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

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What do you call a group of black men stampeding down a hill? Dangerous, so they should slow down!

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Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

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whats worse than one bee sting? two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings? the halocaust whats worse than the halocaust? three bee stings

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Why did the giant try to eat the magical rainbow? A: Because the apocalypse is predicted for the Wednesday after santa gets shot by the evil jolly ice cream man which in secret is cheating on his wife who in turn eats every human baby ever known to man. duhhhhh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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