There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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Hats better than a stick? A stone

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I can't wait to shove my finge in you

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no hands. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He felt like crossing roads that day.

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hear hear

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Doctor doctor, i think i need glasses! Go to an opticians then...

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What are annoying? Ads.

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

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How many mathematicians does it take to count?

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I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

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a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

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Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCM8MQg1bn9y38H8Irhuxx-g

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops