Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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A man walks into a bar a browning automatic rifle, it accidentally fires hitting the main artery in his neck and he promptly bleeds to death.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

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What did the boy call the man that kicked the cat? "Sad twat"

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How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

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I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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Thumbs up if u dont have aids:)

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Parkinson's dl;ghd;jgfldsj;foshdgoljdlkfnjslpaoijejknjvnoidnmaokepinjndonfvio

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCM8MQg1bn9y38H8Irhuxx-g

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Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

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What do you call a Muslim in control of a plane? A pilot

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

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My grandfather died in a Nazi Death Camp. He fell off a watch tower.

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What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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