what has legs but can't walk? a paraplegic

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

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Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

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1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 rapes people

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A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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Kony 2012

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What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

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You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

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what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

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Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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wanna hear a joke? womens rights!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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