A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

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Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

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A couple arrived at Hospital in less than 3 hours. but actually they wanted to go to the Church...and 3 hours is quite a long time...

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What do you call a Muslim woman driving a plane? First, you don't "drive" planes you "fly" them. Second, you should address her as Ma'am, Captain, or Pilot.

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Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

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How did the osprey find the fish? He searched for it.

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Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Everything, because the Holocaust was a dark time. poop in the buttcheeks

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Whats something only kids wear? Clothes

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Hi my name is Bob

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What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar man asks ''what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk

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Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

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What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

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This is a joke for Homeless people:

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Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

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Why was the mother crying Her son was killed by a meteor

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Why did the blond jump off the cliff? She was paragliding for her 20th birthday.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Shoo! Shoo! Get out! Hey! Who's horse is this? I don't want a horse in my bar!"

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Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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why did the black man drown? he cant swim

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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