A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

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how do u get a clown to stop smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

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What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

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What do you call a three legged man? Horribly deformed

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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So there is a white guy and a jewish guy walking, they find a penny on the ground who takes it? The white guy because he is in debt.

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You.

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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What's the difference between mw2 and mw3? Nothing

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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whats black. an african american person

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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