Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops.

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What would you do if Spider Man gave you super powers like his? Nothing. Spider Man is not real therefore you are most likely dreaming and need to wake up soon.

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I walks over to da shop de oother day and there was this guy and he was like... I bought some petrol. LOoooooooooL

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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Knock knock Who the fuck says knock knock?

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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You are basically asking if I care for you, care for me, and if this could put us both in risk... There is no picking at this stage, why would I use you?

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Your at a racism seminar. You learn not to call black people the n word but you know they really deserve it

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC.

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You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

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Guy: I have a penis growing out of my crotch. Girl: Hah, sucks to be you! Guy: Yeah.

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A American, a Brit and a Mexican decided to bet on who could tell the funniest joke. The one that won told a great joke indeed.

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What do an elephant and a grape have in common? Well, depending on your ideological views they are either both God's creations or two examples of species which have evolved over time. That is all.

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What did the bus say to the short bus? Heh, you're retarded..

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What's worse then an adult dying A baby dying

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life"

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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A Russian Irish and American beat up on a Canadian. the only thing wrong with that is i forgot the , in between the races. but on the good side the Canadian was Justin Bieber

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why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

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Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

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boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops