How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

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tomatoe tomato my toe is named tom

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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how many jews can you fit into a car 5, two in the front three in the back

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What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows, he was a chicken, and was not capable of human speech, so he never told anyone.

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what's worse than the holocaust? when starbucks puts whip cream in my hot chocolate and I didn't ask for it. created by KA

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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A new scientific study has scientists baffled as it clearly shows that teen sex drastically decreases at age 20.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

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Q. How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Light bulbs don't exist

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How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

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Britney got to the top of the building. What did she do next? She jumped off to end her miserable life

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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