How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

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What did God say to the priest while he was masturbating.... ... God doesn't exist.

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Why did the Egg turn Purple Because it didnt turn blue.

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Q:If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is here to hear it, will it make a noise A:That Philosopher probably had a lot of herbal tea in the morning

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Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

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What's white and smells like crap? An albino tird. Just kidding, Justin Biebers music.

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? A gameboy

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I went up to my friend and she said to me, "Foop." I calmly went to the nearest teacher and told her that Susie is having a mental breakdown again

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whats worse than finding a holocaust in you apple...........

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What do you do to a brain dead man to get his money? Pull the plug.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by Shrek

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Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

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What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

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What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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a man walks into a bar he suffer's bad injuries by Mad

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If a plane crashes on the boarder of Canada and The U.S.A- Where would they burry the survivors.

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What is the difference between green and desert sage? About 20 bucks a gallon.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? - Because it died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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