What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to change a light bulb? Ya mum.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Why was the blonde staring at the bottle of orange juice? She was reading the nutrition facts, as she was trying to watch her weight.

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What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

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Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Why did jim all I over? He dies

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why did the little girl throw a clock out of the window? because she wanted to see time fly

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in a car crash an entire family is killed from death until they all die

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What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

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How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning.

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what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

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Yo mama is so fat, she just had a heart-attack.

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Steve: Ask me if I'm a tree. John: Are you a tree? Steve: No.

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Indians

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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What did Harold homeless man get for his Birthday? after several years of a meth abuse Harold lost contact with his family. As a result Harold received nothing but an extra bowl of soup at his local soup kitchen.

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Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

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what do u call a man being beaten in the street the cops

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-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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What's tall black and has curly hair? A black guy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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