A janitor walks into a bar. He cleans the bar.

what do you call 100 muslims on a plane? Passengers

I used to be an adventurer, but then I decided to retire.

where did little suzie go during 9/11 EVERYWHERE...

YOLO

Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an African? A baby.

Why am I telling you this joke? Because I entered the following, agreed to the Terms of Service, and clicked "submit".

My three children are three big mistakes.

Roses are Razzmatazz Violets are Arsenic These colors are weird Cancer.

whats hairy and fat? I DONT KNOW YOU TELL ME RETARD

What's faster a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

Knock knock Who's there? No one, you have no friends.

How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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what's worse than than finding a worm up your ass? Death

why did the family have dinner? they were hungry and it was 6:00

Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

What does a female Nazi call a tampon? A twatskika.

What did the underprivileged girl get for Christmas? Nothing because Santa Claus is a media generated holiday icon and the real St. Nicolas has been deceased for almost 700 years.

What did the man and woman do in bed together? Sleep.

What's big, moves around everywhere, and has four wheels? four TEENS on four wheelers

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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