what did the rooster get for his birthday? nothing

What do you call a penguin that hangs around in playgrounds? A paedophile.

What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, because if it's black and white, it can't be red.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

As I was riding my bike down the road, I saw a young boy being raped in a dark alley way. I proceeded to pedal and acted like i had seen nothing.

If you can fit many clowns in a car and many mexicans in a car...how many mexican clowns will fit?

A father was driving with his son. The Son asked " have you been in a car accident in the past 10 years"? The father replys " did you know you HAD 4 siblings"?

why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 was a pussy.

What do you call a hispanic man hopping a large fence? A hispanic man hopping a large fence.

A 3 year old child walks into his parents having intercorce the child asked "mommy what were you and daddy doing" she says "sex" the child was scarred for life.

What's worse than a joke. ONE TOLD BY FOK.

Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

Why don't lesbians use dildoes? Because they look just like a big penises.

What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

A panhandler came up to me today and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks, so I gave him some change.

Your mom is so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

this new cologne, it's kind of gross smelling.

What the the Tyrannosaurus say to the chicken? Dinosaurs are extinct and even if they were not, it would not say anything to a domestic fowl, it would most likely devour it with one bite.

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

when i'm away from home i sometimes get love sick, well they call it chlamydiae.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...