Why did they call the woman crazy? because she drowned her children in a lake.

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What does a fish say when it swims into a wall? Damn

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What is the reward for the pimp who banged a bitch? HIV

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My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

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Major League Soccer

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What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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Q: What do Ethiopians eat at night? A: Nothing.

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There's a black guy in a house. What's he doing there? He owns it.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a car? Because she was a woman.

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If you'd turn to page 43 you will find the homework. Have a good weekend!

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There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver comes into the bar and gulps down the guys drink and the guy starts crying the lorry driver says "dont cry ill buy you another" thee guy sas "it's not that today i woke up late for work and when i got there i got fired and then when i went to go home feeling depressed my car doesnt startand so i walk home and i find my wife in bed with the gardener and so i came here to die but you drank my poison"

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What did the doctor tell his patient? Unfortunately you have cancer.

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If Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee got in a fight, who would win? Chuck Norris, since Bruce Lee is dead.

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why bouriquet can not read is book ? cause he's retarted

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Hello, this is Chuck Norris speaking.

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yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

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Why did the one friend hate the other friend? Because the one friend didnt do a map for social studies he should've done and skipped school for that class and when he came back, the other friend told the social studies teacher he was here and he had to turn in an unfinished poster and now he is a crybaby bitch about it.

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How many Jews does it take to bake a turkey using an oven, I don't know but it only takes one Jew to stuff one.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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You are so ugly that when u were born, your mom was unable to breast-feed you because she would have to look at your face to do so.

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What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

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Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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