what did the one girl say to the other girl? i like your shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Jim has five apples. He gives two apples to Joe. What is left? Fruit

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the fridge break? Because someone threw a fridge at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first moneky.. Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game.. Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure..

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the black man holding the knife in such a particular manner? Because he was getting dinner ready for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. How do you make your neighbor mad? A. Run his kids over.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the black guy charged for murder? He killed his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yo momma's so stupid, she got a moderately low score on her SATs, and sadly, was not excepted by any colleges she applied to, and never got a job. This is why she became depressed, and resorted to suicide to escape the growing pain.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You wanna see something really scary?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? You don't. You just shut up and listen.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a man will dementia who just killed his cousins, wife, children, and teacher. His name. He's still a man until he's put in a mental institution.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

2 people lived next door to each other. The man said "hi" and so did the other man. What is wrong with this situation. Nothing, just friendly neighbors.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I think I am done here friend, it always comes to this, it has always been easier for me to repair whatever is wrong with others and get my kicks out of that, as I know I can and will repair everything wrong with myself, but its hard as hell, I mean I never give up, ever. But that does not change the fact that I am broken, and that simply deciding that I am not, is far from enough, its a choice indeed, but its like deciding to constantly walk trough hell, and sometimes that hell is also called living, that too is always a choice, And believe me, I would never quit, I guess that if this hell I struggle trough has so many nice things in it, it just feels like hell at times. I mean the main motivation behind my ability to help others, has always been searching for answers low and high, and when what I have learned trough life helps others, but barely scratches the surface of the armor I am confined within, I lose hope, do you believe that my desire to help humanity grow, derived from my own incompetence at curing myself?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call an Ethiopian with buck teeth? Lucky to have teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

thumb_up thumb_down -13

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the deal with airline food... It has to be packaged and prepared in such a way large quantities of people can eat the meal with minimal preparation, which results in lower quality. If you don't like it, order a drink from the cart.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anne frank dies days before camp was liberated.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops