Why did george washington not make it to the prom? because george washington is dead

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What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

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roses are blue violets are green I am colorblind

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Three guys walk into a bar.....The fourth one ducks...

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Did you know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes

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What would be the worst thing to do to Helen Keller? Cut her hands off, as it would destroy her last chance at communication and re-arranging her house so she often fell nub first over chairs.

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Whats the similarity between a rabbit and a grape? There both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.

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What do you call a black man backfilping off a roof The dark knight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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