two hippo's were in the lake. The water was up to their eyes. What did one hippo say to the other? I don't know why but i keep thinking it's tuesday.

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, How 'bout you?

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he won't come.

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What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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VITAMIN C!

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

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Why was the black man drowning? His boat sank.

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A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

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your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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