What do chickens, pictures and babies have in common? Nothing.

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How do you kill a blonde? There are a variety of methods, but I prefer a fine mix of insecure clowns and pepto-bismol.

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i'm filthy rich literally because money is dirty

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rose are red violets should be purple

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What do you call a green blur in the sky? Super pickle?

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q ggggggggggggggggg

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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A Jew and a German meet by chance in a bar. They exchange pleasantries and order drinks. At the end of the evening they leave, having made a friend.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she couldn't afford one.

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What lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japanese People

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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What's bigger than China and Smaller than my penis? Russia and a smaller penis.

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Two scientists walk into a bar, the pair walk up to the counter and the first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have some H2O too." 10 minutes later, the second scientist dies.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what is Rebecca black's favorite restaurant? Ruby Tuesdays

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Q. What did the mockingbird say to the blue jay? A. I mock you by mocking you

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What does an Irishman say to you in the morning? Nothing because you only speak French.

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What would happen if you insulted Chuck Norris' mother? Considering you did it on a messageboard that only unemployed people with no social lives use, nothing.

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Why did the blonde go to law school? She was sick of people assuming that she was not an intelligent woman due to negative sterotypes about her gender and hair color and set out to prove said people wrong.

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what do u get when you cross a monkey, a sock and wheels? A: a sock monkey. I was kidding about the wheels

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What happens if you go one louder? Nothing because you can't

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley, I live next door.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms

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Getting up, the 2nd hardest thing in the morning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops