An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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Hey! Where is my tracker?

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Why is it interesting to watch your mum shower? It's Not, its sick you pervert

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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How did the plumber fix the leaky faucet? Trick question. The plumber is actually an iguana.

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Why did Billy fall over? Because someone tripped him.

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Why did little jimmy fall off the building? 9/11

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What's the difference between black guy and a bucket of shit? The bucket

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yo mamma's so fat, when she jumped into the ocean, everyone yelled "tsunami!".

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Girl fight: Teachers take them to dq Boy fight: Lunch and recess in the library.

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What comes after 69? mouthwash

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hello

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You honstly thought i would cry over you? Well guess what player, You just got played too!

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Have you seen Andrea Bocelli's new house? No. He hasn't either.

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my goldfish never writes me back when i send him letters

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

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George Zimmerman walks into a bar .

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knock knock whos there haha this is a shit joke anyone that reads this is a jimmy saville follower and got fingered up the bum hole violently by him love you

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An eagle and a mouse sat on a tree branch, watching a farmer walk to the pasture to milk his cows. The eagle then turned to the mouse but said nothing, because eagles cannot speak. The eagle then ate the mouse because it was a bird of prey.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

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Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

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Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

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I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Cause he wanted to

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops