My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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yo momma is so ugly, she is unpleasant to look at!

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What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

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Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

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What did it say in the end of the book? The End.

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

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Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

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Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

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Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

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Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

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BUT HWY?

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The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Your mom is so ugly, that her job prospects are affected negatively, and your family suffers as a consequence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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