A baby seal walks into a club.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

A baby seal walks into a club.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

What do you call a muslim with an RPG? Holy Shiite

why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

Whats green and tasty? Snot

How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...