whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating on the water? Dead.

Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

roses are red, violets are blue when ever l flush the toilet i think of you

How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

A black, a muslim, and a communist walk into a bar, the bartender says "what will it be Mr. President?

What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

Everyday I'm.. Stepping on a beach. A roop a doo! Stepping on a Beach. do do do? do!!

What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

Why didn't the chicken cross tithe road Because it was a motorway

What's the worst part about male roller blading? AIDS.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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