what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

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A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

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your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

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Who's more mean than teacher Hitler

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did it say in the end of the book? The End.

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Women deserve equal rights... April fools.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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