Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

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Who's fat? Holly Davis.

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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women sitting on a bench quietly. they have no ability to speak.

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What color is a banana? yellow.

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My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

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Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

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What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

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What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

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1134

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Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Obama 2012

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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