whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? One's a black man and one's a pizza.

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange. Aren't You Glad I Didn't Say Cliterus?

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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What's better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics? Not being handicapped in the first place.

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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How did Hitler make the world a better place? He died.

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What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

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A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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Hi

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Leukemia

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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