A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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What rymes with milk..... milf

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

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What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

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Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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Welcome to Watchmojo dot com and today we'll be talking about the Top 10 numbers from 1 through 10. In this episode we will be discussing which numbers from 1 to 10 gain popularity and mainstream appeal amongst people from all over the world. Number 10. 10 (Ten) Number 9. 6 (Six) Number 8. 8 (Eight) Number 7. 4 (Four) Number 6. 5 (Five) Number 5. 3 (Three) Number 4. 2 (Two) Number 3. 9 (Nine) Number 2. 7 (Seven) Here are some honorable mentions: 3.14 9.9 1 and a half Number 1. 1 (One)

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How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

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What's yellow and dangerous? China.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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