Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walks around a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the boy go swimming in the ocean? He didn't. the current pulled him in and he drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why'd the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens are raised on farms, which are away from society. They are taken care of in pens, and have no way of escaping. Therefore it couldn't have crossed any roads.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the movies? Dim message, sapi message=InputBox("Find Out","Why did Benjamin Franklin Go To the Movies?") Set sapi=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice") sapi.Speak message

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you upset Muslims? Kill their leader. Whoops, already did.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Want to hear a joke? Me to...

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

What's black and white and red all over? An interracial couple in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

thumb_up thumb_down +136

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

What's the difference between a duck?

thumb_up thumb_down +50

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops