Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My room is a mess, Violets are still blue

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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knock knock whos there ? Jordan Jordan who ? Jordan Walters

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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Roses are red, Muslims are brown, When I see them swimming, I hope that they drown!

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

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What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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Why was six afraid of seven You would be scared to if your name was six and you knew someone named seven

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Knock, Knock Who is there? Yo Yo who? *the man ran away and was never seen again, because he had nowhere to stay*

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What's white and moves at a glacial pace? A glacier.

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69.9

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have a gun BANG!

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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