Why scooby-doo likes cookies? Because he's chub!

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothin. You already told her twice.

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Doctor, everybody despises me. That cant be totally true you despicable piece of shite!

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A cockroach walks into a bar. The bar seems to have a pest problem.

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

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I am tying up hostages. - Ethan R. 2015

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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What's the difference between communism and race mixing? Zey come for our blood, but drown in zeir ovn!!!!!

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How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

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whats long, orange, and comes out of brown stuff? -a carrot.

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Q - What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a trampoline? A - I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

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Whats's the similarities between an apple and a cat? They both have legs except for the apple.

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Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

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A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

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whats yellow after cani...nathan

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What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

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I was watching two muffins baking in an oven. One said to the other, "Wow, it's hot in here." The other one said "Wow! A talking muffin!" I went to my psychiatrist the next day, to increase the dosage on my medication.

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Chuck norris is seen standing outside a bakery in Paris holding numchucks. He just finished lunch

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What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

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Roses were red Violets were blue Until the Fire nation attacked Now it's all black

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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A blond Canadian and his Korean friend are going together to Korea. When checking in the person asks the Canadian if he has a return ticket leaving the country. He replies yes but he does not have it on him. According to Korean Customs and Immigration laws a non-Korean citizen must have a return ticket to enter the country. Inevitably follows a long and tedious process in order to procure the ticket in order to pass customs. The Korean and the Canadian continue to their boarding gate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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