Why did the guy die. He OD on drugs

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? It got shot Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey

What's even funnier than 24? A clown in a tree.

A homeless guy gets done with his daily work. where does he go? nowhere he is homeless...

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? It depends on their painting skills.

Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open the presents.

knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

I'm so full I could stop eating.

why are little kids like tree's? ... they both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

hi michael

What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

Why was Timmy sad? He had 15 large cuban men slapping him for 27 hours straight.

Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

What did Goldilocks say to the Three Bears? No one knows. Her remains were discovered three weeks later.

Two men walk in to a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H20" The second man says "I'll have some H20, too." They both received glasses of water.

What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

Superman vs Batman real fight: Batman: Hmm I believe that Superman might want to fight m*squish* Batman explodes in a bunch of meat as a blue and red blur is seen fly by. Extended Edition: Batman: Hah Superman I got kryptonite gloves so if you would just stand close to them for about five minute...*squish* Batsack of meat left we see nothing because Superman is FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET. They are probably gonna go like every fucking crossover, first they squabble and throw a few punches for five minutes, then they realize that the LAX LADDER LEX LUGER AND LEX LUTHOR brothers made up some fake story so sups and bts kill each other while they blow up the world, so Btz, and Soup end up beating them up... Moral: "PFF! BATMAN HAS BEATEN UP SUPERMAN AND THE HULK IN THOUSANDS OF SHlTTY NON CANON STORIES!" (In where the one with the Hulk described the hulk to have the instincts and combat skills of a "dumb, animal like confused ape" yes actual quote, Batman punched this confused green ape across a door and kept beating "The Hulk" up as he ran around in "animalistic fear and "rage" receiving random kicks by Batman, then Btz throws some capsule that turns into a fishbowl with no oxygen that chokes The Hulk (supposedly to death) in a few seconds... The Hulk can like hold his breath for YEARS in space, (but you know these lethal fishbowls)

knock knock whos there rock rock who rocks dont knock stupid

This is one LONG empty space isn't it?

Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

Try this on your friend Have him start with "knock knock" Then blankly stare at him, if he asks you To reply tell him no one is home

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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