There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

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Q. why did the skeleton crosse the rood. A. he didin`t becas he had no guts

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i have a christmas tree.

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What did Annie the Orphan get for Christmas? News that her parents are dead.

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What's long and really hard? The fourth grade.

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You know what's really long? The bread lines in Africa

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What did the boy say 9+9 was? The Holocaust

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Sonny Bono walked into a bar. No, wait, he crashed into a tree.

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How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

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your momma is so fat that she should be worried about her higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, and ugliness.

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Do you know what's hilarious? Not rape.

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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What happened to your hamster? It died.

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I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

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what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

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i named my son Frodo because he was little

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Bin laden walks into a bar oh wait he's dead.

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A mute man writes a joke that would only be funny to blind people.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

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Why was the little girl sad? An elephant shat on her face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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