What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

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What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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What has a fiery tail and is mentally handicapped? Charetard.

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What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed? Nothing.

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Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

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How did OJ get away with murder? No one really knows. Probably because he an excellent group of lawyers

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side

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Yo mamma so black that u can't see her eyebrows

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why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

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What did the blind pole vaulter say to the speed skater? Hi, how are you?

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Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

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Kim Jong Un thinks that he is in shape. And when you think about it, he's right. Round is a shape.

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Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

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Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

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How do you get a one armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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What happened when the blind man was running toward a cliff. He stopped before he fell.

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how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

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"Have you got any Saturday jobs available?" "Yes"

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A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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