your dads so fat, he makes your mom look skinny.

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hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

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when life gives you lemons... squeeze the juice into your eyes.

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What did the dubstep say? Wub.

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I was driving to Wal-Mart the other day and I saw a black man in a white Murcielago. I thought to myself that he must be doing good. Because everything he owns is white..... dick

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What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower. A Mexican that is fresh out of college and does not yet own a lawnmower.

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dry handjob

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Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

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What's grey and can't fly? A castle

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME

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Q: Whats Long, Black and Smells? A: Sh*t

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why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

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What did the Albino get for Christmas? Hair dye.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

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This is a bad anti-joke. Just kidding, it's a good one.

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I chop up an onion.

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did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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roses are blue violets are red heres a gun now your dead

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both can fly except for the mole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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