In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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30cm = 0,3meters

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How do I make my penis 12 inches? Tug on it.

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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What's the difference between ice cream and babies? I don't stick babies in my freezer...

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Sandy hook

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dylan hodge wishes he could suck his own **** jokes thats what his mothers for

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I wonder what happen to John? Oh John I know what happen to him. What happened to him then? He was playing on the bridge and fell off on accident. Is he okay? Damn women of coarse he is not okay!!!

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why did the duck swim upside-down -he was on quack

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What did the Little 8 year old boy do when a big black man walked into his house? He said "Hi daddy", then they happily ate dinner together.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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High enough to know that fucking IQ is a terrible way to measure the total potential of the mind, which is potentially limitless depending on the person`s contact and control over the subconscious state.

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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the horse walks into the bar the bartender calls the pet control

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Once i was walking down the street when i saw a homeless man As i leant to give him money he jumped up and stabbed me. Now i don't approach drunk strangers with hangovers

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Have you read Shakespeare? Dunno. Who wrote it? Shakespeare.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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Why did the Jewish cross the road? He didn't he died in Holocaust.

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

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Moon: The sun shines bright like a virgin. He must be high..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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