Q: What did the black man say to the sheriff? A: Good day, officer

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What happens when a man runs naked into a bank? He doesn't get service because he isn't wearing shoes or a shirt

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Whats worse than death? Living in Agonising pain for the rest of the life that happens to be reading this statement.

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i like your face... HAHAHAHAH just kidding you make me want to projectile vomit.

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What did the 80 year old man do to celebrate valentines day with his wife? Nothing, Alzheimer's made him forget about Valentines day.....and that he was married. What did his wife do for Valentines day? Killed herself.

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A muslim paints Mohammed

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How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

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friend 1: Alright man, i got your back friend 2: AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue This is an antijoke It doesn't have to rhyme.

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Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because, there are no tailors in the area who make pants suitable for chickens to wear.

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What is the difference between a person of Mexican heritage and a park bench? One is a bench, the other is a human being.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....... unless it is a nonkiller disease that makes you extremely weak :D

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There are 2 muffins in an oven One of the muffins says to the other 'Jeez it's hot in here' Then the other muffin replied, 'OH MY GOD IT'S A FRICKEN TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!

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roses are red, violets are blue. Some poems don't make sense, Salad.

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what goes round , and round , and croaks? a blender in a frog.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

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ask me if im deaf. are you deaf? ...............

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: That depends how hard you throw them... Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees...

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Q- what do you call a Jew swimming in the Antarctic? A- Dead, any man wouldn't survive swimming in water that cold

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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whats worse than finding a worm in apple? being chased by retards

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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how do you find a ghost? shoot yourself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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