What do you get when you add a cucumber some vinegar some salt and you get..... Macaroni and cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -31

The ability to live the life of a dead person.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

i am a dino. RAWR.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called anti joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A Jewish, Italian, and Russian man are stranded on an island. Eventually the Russian man dies from heatstroke, leaving the other two to decide whether or not to feast on his remains. The Italian eventually goes mad and tries to murder the Jewish man who is forced to defend himself and kill his remaining friend. Shortly after, the Jewish man is eventually rescued by a passing German vessel after suffering severe dehydration and malnourishment and hanging on only by his faith in God. As they are leading him to safety, the Jewish man eventually summons the strength to tell his saviors about the horrible things he has done and all he has gone through, not knowing if he'll ever be able to forgive himself. His German rescuers take one awkward look at him, and don't know what to say to help him, leading afterwards to several years of PTSD therapy and rehabilitation.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

If 1+1=2 why does 2+2 not equal 3?

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's better than singing in the rain? Singing in a Pitt of fire. Oh wait that would be way worse than singing in the rain

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A black guy , a white guy and a jew walk into a resturaunt They are offered the special.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why does Hilter hate Jews? He's incapable of hating because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did Edward Cullen say to the hot girl? Since I am a vampire it is impossible for me to get an erection.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How did the Jew escape the concentration camp? He didn't he was caught and put in the gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Roses are Red, They are also white, Infact nowadays with cross-pollination a hugely diverse number of different coloured roses are attainable.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its body.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did the gay guy say to the other gay guy Want to make out?

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down -35

2 Priests and a Monk walk into a bar, All 3 were stabbed to death in a bar fight.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face! -Lets go Mets

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -35

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Knock, knock who's there? Steve Evans. Steve Evans who? You've already forgotten me? We just met on Eharmony yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops