What do you call your mom after she brings a guy home from a bar? A very caring woman because she doesn't want him driving drunk.

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A fat man orders a pizza. Then after eating it, he gets a eart attack due to his high cholesterol and lack of exercise

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A dyslexic man gets asked what 1+1 is, he replies with a wopping 11. Grats <3

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*see an orphan* Knock knock Whos there Not you parents ...

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Wanna hear a joke? Your contact list.

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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What's worse than getting an erection in church Getting an erection while naked in church

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My left foot has 6 toes, my right face has 8 Q-tips -Matt

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what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

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A raptor and a Tyrannosaurus Rex walk into a bar. Everyone runs for their lives as the dinosaurs ate everyone who was too slow.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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shut up elliot

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What is the difference between a Homosexual and a Heterosexual? They are both Black.

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What's the best thing about 23 year olds? There's twenty of them.

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If you give a mouse a cookie, he will probably eat it then have a heart attack due to the high level of sugar in the cookie

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a horse is a horse. of course of course....unless its a cow

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What did Steven Hawking get for Christmas? ------ ------ ------ A bike.

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Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

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What did the alphabetical soup spell for little Bobby? U gOt SUzie prEgnant ....... aGaiN

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Justin Beiber

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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Penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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