Why don't carrot tops souls ? They just don't

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A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

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why didnt the little boy say goodbye to his mom because he got hit by a bus

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There once was a man from Duluth who's never did rhyme. They were often too short.

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Q: How do you fit 30 Jews in one car? A: Two in the front, two in the back, and the rest in the ash tray.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

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I have a phone, Don't know where it's at, Forever Alone FAPFAPFAP

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A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't know any better. It very recently was decapitated in order tofeed the farmers family.

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How many orangoutangs does it take to screw in a light bulb? 16; mongoloid

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What is James Miller's real name? James Miller.

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Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was trying to kill himself in the fastest and easiest way due to his drinking problems, which in the first place separated him him from his wife, who is fighting with him in court for custody of there only child ,Steven. He can not even pay the rent on his apartment or hold a job to pay child support..he is also in debt.

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Why did peter shake the baby? To kill it and rape its dead corpse

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A:Wanna hear a joke? B: Sure A: A joke

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You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

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Jesus walks into a church only to be touched inappropriately.

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Your mom is so stupid, she stole free samples.

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How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

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What do you tell your dad if he constantly gripes about his balls? He's got testicular cancer and he's going to die a horrible painful death.

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A man walks into a bar After months of rehab he is giving in to his drinking abuse again and will ruin his life as well as his family

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why was the female student failing out of school? because she made bad choices and never gave school her all.

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i committed murder

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops