Your mom is so fat, that last night after reading and edition of Cosmo, she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep due to her inability to live up to such an unrealistic feminine stereotype.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The opposing forces behind all human beings is not light vs darkness, not good vs evil, but fear vs ' love. Whatever is overwhelmingly good for one person, is evil to many. Overwhelming darkness wont allow you to see. Overwhelming light will make you blind. You can never fear overwhelming love. You can never love overwhelming fear. These are the true polar opposites, part of all emotion that drive the human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the best Anti-Joke ever? I don't know, but it's NOT this one.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do an octopus and a cat have in common? They are both multicellular organisms that are living creatures, and therefore are both sentient and can perform simple tasks and make simple decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

do you know whats worse than a bad joke on antijoke.com the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two tomatoes are crossing the road. Suddenly one of them gets hit by a car. He goes "AGH!"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many women does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Usually just one, and a ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the cat eat himself? He was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +2

"Free to play" Play free "right now" "Free forever"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

wat do u say to a guy with a 3.5 cm choad wats hot tater tot

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why were the police chasing the black man? Because he was in such a poor financial state that the bank foreclosed his house and now he has no source of income and therefore no way to purchase basic living requirements, so he was forced to steal in order to provide food for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the twin towers order from the pizzeria? Two large Plane

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

thumb_up thumb_down +2

SBB

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are Red, I have a phone, Nobody texts me, Forever alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy scratch his back? A:because it was itchy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If X = 3 and Y = 7, what is X + Y = ? It doesn't matter. You forgot to put your name on the test which means you got an automatic fail.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I LIKE TITS TITS

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happened when the ugly girl asked her crush out on a date? He said yes. He found her personality quite attractive

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call an asian pilot? A pilot you racist bastard

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops