Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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What's the difference between a fat man and a little boy? Despite the fact that they were dropped on two different cities, one was made out of uranium, the other was made out of plutonium.

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What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A pile of dead nuns.

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

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What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

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Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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Knock knock whos there? I have no anus

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

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whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

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Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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