Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

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Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Why did the little boy have to go to the hospital? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a train.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?!, who's there?!!!, ya fucking asshole!!!, and quit knockin on my door!, my windows are fine!"

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What did one Platypus say to the other Platypus? Nothing, Platypuses can't talk. However, they are the only mammal to lay eggs.

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what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

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Q: How much dirt is in a hole 3 by 6 by 2 feet? A: There's no dirt, it's a hole.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Yo mama soooooo dumb! You should really take her to a doctor, she might actually suffer from mental retardation, I'm just concerned about her.

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what do you call a Puerto Rican with no arms? Trust worthy

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A pterodactyl walks into a bar, bartender says "What'll you have." To which the pterodactyl graciously replies "RAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRR." Because pterodactyl's do not speak English.

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What did the alien say to the parachute? We're connected

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A guy walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because he is only 19 years old.

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

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What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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roses are red violets are blue i like elephants

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What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

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Whats Funnier than the Holacaust? A: Nothing you asshole!

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How did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

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Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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