- Anti Joke

Society wants to be so prude and pure that on AntiJoke, you actually get words like P U S S Y and P E N I S censored !

Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? No.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was white

Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

A train conducter conducts at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph, if he goes under 2 bridges and over 3 hills what did the conductors mother have for dinner that night. Nothing she was raped then promptly murdered.

hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

nobody move, or i'll kill myself, then her!

What do you call an african american child that hasn't eaten in a week? hungry.

Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back. Then look down and realize there's still an active grenade in your hand. You've just become the joke

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Your mama sucks so much dick, it's not funny.

how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a passing car.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.It is a very simple task for somebody who knows what to do.

In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

Dave:Hi Mark:Hi

what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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