What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

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What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.

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You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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what did the homeless man say to the stranger? nothing, he let he let his gun do the talking

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why did the man throw his clock out of he window? he was mentally insane.

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Roses are red Violets are blue classic

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Want to hear a Joke? No.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!!!

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

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What did the fat lady order at McDonalds? Nothing because she forgot here wallet at home.

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how do you wake up a black man? scream!!!!!

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What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

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I just drank a cola.

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9 tottenham fans walk into a french bar 2 minutes later French fans attack them saying this is for making our history lessons boring 1 shouts ohh the holocaust French fans ash him even more 5 say there call the jew squard next minute there getting attacked by a bunch of kids and lying that there were 30 neo Nazi men.

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Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

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What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

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what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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Two arabs fly into a bar in the twin towers

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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What's the difference between a red door and a blue door? Fat black people.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He threw at the girl, and that's why she fell off the swing.

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Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

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Wife: Does this make me look fat? Husband: Honey, your already fat.

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Why are Ethiopians so fast? Because antelope are also very fast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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