Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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Why did the moose cross the road? Migration.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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whats 1 + 1? 2

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A priest and a police officer are sitting at a bar. They both have considerable drinking problems because problems unrelated to their respective occupations. The bartender's name is Mike.

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The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

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Why did the black guy punch the white guy? They were both professional boxers.

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Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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An owl and a squirrel where siting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl then turned to the squirrel and said nothing... cos owls can't talk. The owl then eats the bird because it is a bird of prey

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A: Whats black and hangs from my tree in my backyard? B: What? A: Blackberries B: Blackberries grow on bushes

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where do some birds live in? Earth

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse said nothing because it doesn't understand human language.

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What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

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A women walks into a bar which is means she is pretty rich to be able to have a bar in her kitchen

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? He'd lost so much weight, due to AIDS.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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womens rights.

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Two tomatoes are crossing the road. Suddenly one of them gets hit by a car. He goes "AGH!"

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Why did little nancy call the police? Because her dad beats her toaster up.

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How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

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How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

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Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

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bangers and mash?

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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