Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What did the turtle say to the hare? Nothing. Animals can't speak.

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why was the blonde confused? because she was born with a low IQ making her mentally retarded.

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Smelly Indians.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

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A man walked into his house He saw his wife having an affair with his teenage Gardner

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kcid gib a evah uoy neht sdrawkcab siht daer nac uoy fi

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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wanna hear a joke? woman's rights.

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whats the difference between a fat person and a skinny person ? there weight.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Its John

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Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

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The dinosaurs aren't really extinct. Just kidding.

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Q: What did the shark say while eating the surfer A: Nothing, his mouth was full, and besides....sharks cannot talk.

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I got into an argument with my friend the other day. He contested that the onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I beat his wife to death with a coconut,

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You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

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What's the same between grapes and squirrels? They're both purple, except for the squirrel.

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Your Momma is sooooo poor, she struggles day by day to feed you and your 8 siblings while keeping a roof over your head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

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What do you call a lesbian eskimo? The name she was given at birth.

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A horse walks into a bar the bartender says to the horse y the long face the horse is unable to speak English, shits on the floor than leaves.

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What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

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When life gives you lemons Unless it gives you sugar, water, and a cup your lemonade will suck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops