"What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby" "One's fun to hit with a bat and the other One's a watermelon.

Why do sea guls fly over the sea? In order to get from place to place, flying is much faster than walking. Sea guls live on a diet of salt-water fish, and the ocean is where their main food supply subsides.

Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

My period is red, Your sauce is white, now pull down your pants and let me do my workout.

Neither have I

A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

What do you get if you cross a horse with a cow? A horse and a cow.

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

what happened to the man who is standing in the rain? he got wet

Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a rapist.

One below was by me: Walter H

Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

Continents are large islands.

the man walked into the bar and said ur gay

Knock Knock Go Away

Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? I throw a refrigerator at him.

How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

What did the little asian boy get for his birthday? To work for minimun wage making high quality shoes for greedy white people in North America who dont care about anybody but themselves.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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