What would Chuck Norris do if you insulted him? Nothing. He probably doesn't have time for such foolishness.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yeah, it makes sense if you think about it, I changed my alias back and forth from Axel Knight, to Axel White, first because Axel White sounded not only as a opposite to Nero, but also because it sounded like something a Nazi leader would call himself, we went renegade and used that in order to draw in and bust a lot of Neo Nazi`s with enough money and bad intentions to make bad stuff happen. But thats another story, I heard about an Axel Knight partaking in Point Zero, had I known you where the leader (I hope you are being honest friend) I would have warned you much sooner, but there was no way for me to know if you where working together... Since you literally where.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Ethan's girlfriend is a salg hahahahahahahahahahahaha fucking meff she needs to die

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Gregory: Hey, aren't you that pretty girl I saw from the party? Jenny: Huh? Gregory: No wait, it can't be you. Because you are WAY prettier. Jenny: Aw, that's so sweet, lemme give you my phone number. Gregory: Okay I'm ready to copy Jenny: It's 1-800-get-a-life-loser Gregory: Biitch

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why I am at the hospital now: True as it gets. I found on my working desk a small box of fluoride pills, I was like meh, but it said banana, strawberry, mint and pear, so I was like yeah! And grabbed a mouthful before going URGH! Then my friends entered laughing saying "I hope you do well on that test tomorrow!" So yeah, I passed out, and it turns out my "friends" (victims ill torture to they beg for death). 80 MG OF VALIUM!!! Yeah good trucking luck on my test eh? I nearly died twice, somehow, I think I should ask doc if my heart is okay or something, my head is fucked up the floor is all wavy and I cant differentiate numbers Seriously, one guy was gonna come visit say sorry, but he sent his girlfriend instead... My wife was so worried, that when I said: Mind if I have my vengeance by screwing his girlfriend? My wife said: I was so worried, you still okay? That actually sounds like a good scheme... So, yeah... I am typing this because, I am totally going to have a threesome... When and if my ever wakes up again... She agreed... She was always kinda into me but still! If you dont understand this, well... Next time, if you want to poison me, USE SOMETHING THAT KILLS ME! BECAUSE I WILL BE BACK!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Hey babe, are you a refrigerator? -No... Good--'cause I wanna f*ck you so hard. Best pickup line. Always works.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you get clean dishes? You wash them.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happened when the chicken got to the other side of the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't the kid get into see the pairate movie? It was rated PG-13 and he was only 11. Plus he had no money and his mother didnt want him watching movies like that.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

your moms so fat that she had to buy bigger cloths, her husband left her, she became a druggie and died alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Rush Limbaugh

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did the man do when he fell off the top of a building? Nothing He DIED!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

In soviet russia, 6 is not afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q. Why did the car break dance? A. I dont know!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's brown and slimy? brown slime

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats the same about a Mole and an Eagle? They both live underground, I lied about the Eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a bitchy unreliable friend? You don't call that bitch at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a leopard and a jaguar ? The rabbit flies faster, while the pigeon can breathe underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's white, black and can't fit through a man hole? A nun with a spear in their head

thumb_up thumb_down -12

oh whatever donald trump's not going to be president. stop pretending he is

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops