What do you get when you hit a deer? A dead deer, which you should probably take home to eat - wouldn't want it to go to waste.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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There are two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Holy shit its hot in here!" The other muffin says, "I concur..."

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? As they can't find any, they are just squirrels, they can not asist little timmy choking on the lightbulb rolling around on the floor.

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Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

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Why does Sally sell sea shells down by the sea shore? To support her growing crack addiction that is ruining Sally's and Sally's families lives

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Sally went to an R-Kelly concert what happend when she came out? No one because R-Kelly peed on sally and cops came in.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like rhymes Penis

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Nothing, he was in tremendous pain.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

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Do gingers have souls ? No, Gingers are a myth made up in the 13th centuary to scare little kids.

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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What do you call a black airline pilot? An airline pilot.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

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That awkward moment when Amish mingle has a member

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Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

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What's the cure of cancer? Death.

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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