Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a prison. They're stopped by a gang. Hey, want to play a game? They answer "No thanks, we died in the last joke."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What happened to the man who lost his job? He couldn't support his family so they all became homeless and eventually died of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did John break down in tears? Because he was molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Cool story bro. Tell it again.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock, Knock! Go away!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo, time to go to Auschwitz.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was the guy with six fingers called John? His name was John.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Turns out a man suffering from schizophrenia believes he is a bartender for animals as his health slowly declines as his family comes to visit him every day.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

who's a slut... you're mom

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Two homeless men are baking in an oven. They scream loudly until they both die.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops