Why the bird can't fly? Because i cutt off his wings.

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What do cats eat for breakfast? Cat food.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Yo momma so stupid when I said drinks are on the house she went and got a ladder

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There would not be any me in we, you would have to hijack a media station, you would instantly be branded terrorists, and even if you where not, do you believe that you could have used the media in order to spread individuality, or would you simply have sought to control the masses like the rest? I am not saying that television is wrong, I am saying that as long as there are not enough people willing to think for themselves, and remain loyal to us and themselves, something which we failed at when we where at our greatest peak, then we are all media zombies eventually, and I do not mind, complacency is better than a constant struggle for survival.

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A tiger walks into a bar, the patrons ran out terrified.

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what did the cow say to the chicken Hey im ralston tyler

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Three men of different ethnic and socio-economic upbringings enter a pub. A strange situation befalls them or a question is posed. The first two respond in turn, in manners typical of their profession or educational background. The third, however, either draws on his specific expertise and responds so as to outwit the others, or makes an egregious and pun-filled blunder, leaving himself open to mockery by his peers.

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies? girl scouts

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So, this joke isn't funny.

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Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

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A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

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Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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There are two fish in a tank. They both die, tanks are used for warfare.

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How did the Mexican cross the border without getting caught? He didn't; he was executed immediately.

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What's worse than having a zit on your face? Getting blue waffle.. google if you don't know what blue waffle is..

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Two peanuts walked into a bar one was as'salted'

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whats the difference between black people and dogs? people actually care when something happens to a dog

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

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Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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